Eternal Sin by Nirmala Trisna

Burn the memories

Let the flame turn them into ashes

Let them flow and pollute the air

Inhale the burnt memories

Let them invade my vein

Let them stay deep within my body

Let the sin stay within

Eternal sin with no flame

Let me live with it forever

***

Rolling in the Deep by Paul Epworth and Adele

There's a fire starting in my heart,
Reaching a fever pitch and it's bringing me out the dark,

Finally, I can see you crystal clear,
Go ahead and sell me out and a I'll lay your ship bare,
See how I'll leave with every piece of you,
Don't underestimate the things that I will do,

There's a fire starting in my heart,
Reaching a fever pitch and it's bring me out the dark,

The scars of your love remind me of us,
They keep me thinking that we almost had it all,
The scars of your love, they leave me breathless,
I can't help feeling,

We could have had it all,
(You're gonna wish you never had met me),
Rolling in the deep,
(Tears are gonna fall, rolling in the deep),
You had my heart inside your hand,
(You're gonna wish you never had met me),
And you played it to the beat,
(Tears are gonna fall, rolling in the deep),

Baby, I have no story to be told,
But I've heard one on you and I'm gonna make your head burn,
Think of me in the depths of your despair,
Make a home down there as mine sure won't be shared,

The scars of your love remind me of us,
(You're gonna wish you never had met me),
They keep me thinking that we almost had it all,
(Tears are gonna fall, rolling in the deep),
The scars of your love, they leave me breathless,
(You're gonna wish you never had met me),
I can't help feeling,
(Tears are gonna fall, rolling in the deep),

We could have had it all,
(You're gonna wish you never had met me),
Rolling in the deep,
(Tears are gonna fall, rolling in the deep),
You had my heart inside your hand,
(You're gonna wish you never had met me),

And you played it to the beat,
(Tears are gonna fall, rolling in the deep),

Could have had it all,
Rolling in the deep,
You had my heart inside your hand,
But you played it with a beating,

Throw your soul through every open door,
Count your blessings to find what you look for,
Turn my sorrow into treasured gold,
You'll pay me back in kind and reap just what you've sown,

(You're gonna wish you never had met me),
We could have had it all,
(Tears are gonna fall, rolling in the deep),
We could have had it all,
(You're gonna wish you never had met me),
It all, it all, it all,
(Tears are gonna fall, rolling in the deep),

We could have had it all,
(You're gonna wish you never had met me),
Rolling in the deep,
(Tears are gonna fall, rolling in the deep),
You had my heart inside your hand,
(You're gonna wish you never had met me),
And you played it to the beat,
(Tears are gonna fall, rolling in the deep),

Could have had it all,
(You're gonna wish you never had met me),
Rolling in the deep,
(Tears are gonna fall, rolling in the deep),
You had my heart inside your hand,
(You're gonna wish you never had met me),

But you played it,
You played it,
You played it,
You played it to the beat

A Dream Within A Dream by Edgar Allan Poe

Take this kiss upon the brow!
And, in parting from you now,
Thus much let me avow--
You are not wrong, who deem
That my days have been a dream;
Yet if hope has flown away
In a night, or in a day,
In a vision, or in none,
Is it therefore the less gone?
All that we see or seem
Is but a dream within a dream.

I stand amid the roar
Of a surf-tormented shore,
And I hold within my hand
Grains of the golden sand--
How few! yet how they creep
Through my fingers to the deep,
While I weep--while I weep!
O God! can I not grasp
Them with a tighter clasp?
O God! can I not save
One from the pitiless wave?
Is all that we see or seem
But a dream within a dream?

XVII (I do not love you...) by Pablo Neruda

I do not love you as if you were salt-rose, or topaz,
or the arrow of carnations the fire shoots off.
I love you as certain dark things are to be loved,
in secret, between the shadow and the soul.

I love you as the plant that never blooms
but carries in itself the light of hidden flowers;
thanks to your love a certain solid fragrance,
risen from the earth, lives darkly in my body.

I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where.
I love you straightforwardly, without complexities or pride;
so I love you because I know no other way

than this: where I does not exist, nor you,
so close that your hand on my chest is my hand,
so close that your eyes close as I fall asleep.

I Carry Your Heart with Me, by Ee Cummings

i carry your heart with me(i carry it in
my heart)i am never without it(anywhere
i go you go,my dear; and whatever is done
by only me is your doing,my darling)
i fear
no fate(for you are my fate,my sweet)i want
no world(for beautiful you are my world,my true)
and it's you are whatever a moon has always meant
and whatever a sun will always sing is you

here is the deepest secret nobody knows
(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud
and the sky of the sky of a tree called life;which grows
higher than the soul can hope or mind can hide)
and this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart

i carry your heart(i carry it in my heart)

A Song of Despair, by Pablo Neruda

The memory of you emerges from the night around me.
The river mingles its stubborn lament with the sea.

Deserted like the wharves at dawn.
It is the hour of departure, oh deserted one!

Cold flower heads are raining over my heart.
Oh pit of debris, fierce cave of the shipwrecked.

In you the wars and the flights accumulated.
From you the wings of the song birds rose.

You swallowed everything, like distance.
Like the sea, like time. In you everything sank!

It was the happy hour of assault and the kiss.
The hour of the spell that blazed like a lighthouse.

Pilot's dread, fury of blind driver,
turbulent drunkenness of love, in you everything sank!

In the childhood of mist my soul, winged and wounded.
Lost discoverer, in you everything sank!

You girdled sorrow, you clung to desire,
sadness stunned you, in you everything sank!

I made the wall of shadow draw back,
beyond desire and act, I walked on.

Oh flesh, my own flesh, woman whom I loved and lost,
I summon you in the moist hour, I raise my song to you.

Like a jar you housed infinite tenderness.
and the infinite oblivion shattered you like a jar.

There was the black solitude of the islands,
and there, woman of love, your arms took me in.

There was thirst and hunger, and you were the fruit.
There were grief and ruins, and you were the miracle.

Ah woman, I do not know how you could contain me
in the earth of your soul, in the cross of your arms!

How terrible and brief my desire was to you!
How difficult and drunken, how tensed and avid.

Cemetery of kisses, there is still fire in your tombs,
still the fruited boughs burn, pecked at by birds.

Oh the bitten mouth, oh the kissed limbs,
oh the hungering teeth, oh the entwined bodies.

Oh the mad coupling of hope and force
in which we merged and despaired.

And the tenderness, light as water and as flour.
And the word scarcely begun on the lips.

This was my destiny and in it was my voyage of my longing,
and in it my longing fell, in you everything sank!

Oh pit of debris, everything fell into you,
what sorrow did you not express, in what sorrow are you not drowned!

From billow to billow you still called and sang.
Standing like a sailor in the prow of a vessel.

You still flowered in songs, you still brike the currents.
Oh pit of debris, open and bitter well.

Pale blind diver, luckless slinger,
lost discoverer, in you everything sank!

It is the hour of departure, the hard cold hour
which the night fastens to all the timetables.

The rustling belt of the sea girdles the shore.
Cold stars heave up, black birds migrate.

Deserted like the wharves at dawn.
Only tremulous shadow twists in my hands.

Oh farther than everything. Oh farther than everything.

It is the hour of departure. Oh abandoned one!

If You Forget Me, by Pablo Neruda

I want you to know
one thing.

You know how this is:
if I look
at the crystal moon, at the red branch
of the slow autumn at my window,
if I touch
near the fire
the impalpable ash
or the wrinkled body of the log,
everything carries me to you,
as if everything that exists,
aromas, light, metals,
were little boats
that sail
toward those isles of yours that wait for me.

Well, now,
if little by little you stop loving me
I shall stop loving you little by little.

If suddenly
you forget me
do not look for me,
for I shall already have forgotten you.

If you think it long and mad,
the wind of banners
that passes through my life,
and you decide
to leave me at the shore
of the heart where I have roots,
remember
that on that day,
at that hour,
I shall lift my arms
and my roots will set off
to seek another land.

But
if each day,
each hour,
you feel that you are destined for me
with implacable sweetness,
if each day a flower
climbs up to your lips to seek me,
ah my love, ah my own,
in me all that fire is repeated,
in me nothing is extinguished or forgotten,
my love feeds on your love, beloved,
and as long as you live it will be in your arms
without leaving mine.

Sendiri Menunggu Cinta, oleh Nirmala Trisna

Perempuan itu sendiri
Menghitung tetesan yang meleleh di pipinya

Perempuan itu menunggu kekasihnya
Kekasih hati yang ibarat lebah, menghisap madu bunga yang lain

Bodohkah ia?
Pasrahkah ia?

Perempuan itu menunggu janji kekasihnya
Janji yang selalu diharapkan untuk mewarnai dunianya

Bosankah ia?
Capaikah ia?

Perempuan itu terus menunggu
Dan terus menunggu...

Cinta tak Berbalas, oleh Nirmala Trisna

Sendiri aku di tengah bumi

menatap langit tiada tepi
aku ambil sinar dari mentari
namun aku masih sendiri
aku mau dirimu
dirimu yang jauh
memang itukah maumu?
setitik tangismu cukup jadi bukti

*photo courtesy of Shanti Patriarini

Aku ingin bersamamu, oleh Nirmala Trisna

Saat embun bangkit perlahan

Mengusap seluruh raga

Saat mentari menerangi dunia

Membakar api dalam dada kita

Saat air hujan membasahi permukaan pertiwi

Mengikis persediaan cinta di antara kita

Ijinkan aku bersamamu

Sampai aku layu bersamamu

*Photo courtesy of Shanti Patriarini

Kisah Sebuah Hati, oleh Nirmala Trisna

Betapa hebatnya sebuah hati
Yang bisa mekar berseri-seri saat kecupan pertama mendarat di dahi
Namun bisa patah, hancur, remuk, berkeping-keping...
Saat laki-laki muda itu dengan senyum manisnya tak datang di penghujung hari di suatu masa yang lalu...

Hati bisa membesar membuncah
ketika bibir mungil melantunkan tembang asmara
Hati bisa teriris perih tersayat-sayat
ketika bibir itu juga yang menangis saat selamat tinggal harus terucap

Hati bisa keras membatu menggumpal
dimana mungkin hanya cinta yang mampu meluruhkannya
Hati juga bisa lembut ringan
saat hanya cinta semata yang membuatnya melayang

Itulah kisah hati

Hatiku hanya untukmu
Datang dan diam dalam berbagai bentuk dan wujud

Aku cinta padamu

Sisakan Hati, oleh Nirmala Trisna

Ketika hidangan berlimpah di waktu maghrib
Ketika lembaran rupiah bertaburan di midnight sale
Ketika baju baru diburu untuk tampil baru di hari raya
Ketika ketupat terisi buliran beras untuk sajian nikmat
Ketika motor pemudik berimpitan di jalur mudik

Masih ada yang merintih di kaki bumi...

Sisakan hati untuk berbagi..

Ibuku berkata padaku..., oleh Nirmala Trisna

... Dan kamu adalah anakku
Yang pernah tumbuh di dalam tubuhku
benih dari cintaku

Namun kamu tak bisa kubelenggu
ragamu adalah kuasamu
dan jiwamu sepenuhnya milikmu

Pergilah anakku sayang
taklukkan dunia
di luar pelukku, dengan cintaku

*Puisi ini untuk Mami, yang dengan keberaniannya, melepaskanku pada umur 21 tahun*

Soul Food for our Children

Our children are the future of our life. Nurture our children and nourish their soul with love. Love without anger, love without deceit.

Grow genuine smile to our children. Smile that should be beaming with joy, cultivated by parents who truly respect and adore each other. Enhanced by love as the spirit in spinning the wheel of life. Love to our spouse, love to our children, love to good life.

Feed our children with noble dreams. Bestow our children with audacity, so they can survive in the evolving globe.

Let our children fight for their beliefs. Lead them by moral instance.

Love our children….the beauty of our life.

Penjahat Cinta, oleh Nirmala Trisna

kurobek-robek hatimu
perih tak berdarah
tenggelam di samudra
tercabik terkena jangkar
terberai tiada rupa

cinta kadaluarsa, oleh nirmalatrisna

kemarin katanya kamu cinta padaku
kamu bilang hanya aku yang meluluhkan jantungmu
kemarin katanya cuma aku yang kamu rindu
di hatimu ada aku melulu

kenapa sekarang kamu bilang sayangmu kadaluarsa
ibarat kecap cap kadal, katamu cinta bisa usang
kecap lama dibuang, tanpa rasa sayang
aku terpana, terguncang, ibarat pohon mau tumbang

*terinspirasi oleh perceraian artis Indonesia yang beralasan cintanya sudah kadaluarsa*

Terapi Cinta, oleh Nirmala Trisna

Lunglai badanku

Berat kelopak mataku

Kuras habis airku

Hanya satu terapiku

…Aroma tubuhmu

Tentang Cinta

*Nirmala's translation on "The Prophet: On Love" by Kahlil Gibran*

Lalu Almitra berkata, “Katakan kepada kami tentang Cinta.”

Dan ia mengangkat kepalanya serta menatap orang-orang di sekelilingnya, dimana kesunyian meliputi mereka. Lalu dengan suara bijak ia berkata:

Saat engkau memutuskan untuk mengikuti cinta,

Walaupun jalannya sulit dan terjal.

Dan saat sayap-sayapnya memelukmu rapat,

Walau pedang tersembunyi di antara sayap itu dapat melukaimu. Dan saat ia berucap kepadamu penuh keyakinan,

Meski suaranya dapat menghancurkan mimpi-mimpimu seperti angin utara yang memporak-porandakan taman.

Demi cinta yang menjadi mahkotamu sehingga ia dapat menyiksamu. Walau ia ada untukmu tumbuh sehingga iapun bisa memotongmu.

Walau ia dapat melayang di tempat ketinggianmu dan mengusap ranting-ranting rapuhmu yang bergetar di bawah mentari,

Hingga ia mampu turun ke akarmu dan menggoyang pelukanmu ke bumi. Seperti sekumpulan pipih jagung, ia membuatmu menyatu dengannya.

Ia melucutimu dan menelanjangimu.

Ia menarikmu keluar dari sangkarmu.

Ia meluluhkanmu hingga lantak.

Ia menyentuhmu ke titik terlembutmu;

Dan kemudian ia menuntunmu ke api suci, sehingga engkau menjadi sajian suci bagiNya.

Semua ini maha karya cinta hingga engkau membuka rahasia hatimu, serta pada akhirnya menjadi bagian dari jantung Kehidupan.

Namun jika dalam ketakutan engkau hanya mencari kedamaian dan kenikmatan cinta,

Lebih baik untukmu jika engkau tutup keterbukaanmu dan tergolek pada lantai cinta,

Menuju dunia tanpa musim dimana engkau akan tertawa, namun bukan semua tawamu, dan tersedu, namun bukan tangismu.

Cinta tidak lain hanya memberi cinta pun jua mengambil cinta.

Cinta memiliki namun jua tak bisa dimiliki; Karena cinta cukup untuk cinta. Saat engkau mencinta, janganlah berucap,”Tuhan ada dalam hatiku,” namun katakan, “Aku ada dalam hatiNya.”

Dan jangan kira engkau mampu mengarahkan cinta, jika engkau layak, cinta akan mengarahkanmu.

Cinta tak berhasrat selain memenuhi cinta itu sendiri.

Namun jika engkau mencinta dan patut berhasrat, miliki hasrat-hasrat ini:

Mengalir seperti alur sungai yang mengalun menuju malam.

Mengetahui kepedihan atas terlampau banyak kelembutan.

Terluka karena pemahamanmu sendiri atas cinta;

Dan berdarahlah atas kemauanmu sendiri penuh cita.

Terbangun di kegelapan pagi dengan hati lapang serta bersyukur atas hari penuh cinta;

Terbaring di siang hari dan merenungkan kenikmatan cinta;

Kembali pulang di senja hari penuh syukur;

Lalu tidur dengan doa kepada yang terkasih di hatimu dan pujian yang mengalir dari bibirmu.